She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
