Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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