Apparently you make a good broom.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
