he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i think my mom watched the whole time
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
