Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
