lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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