So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
