yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Me too!
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
