If that was your dad, he is hot
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
