so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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