Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
