I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
