Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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