The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
