Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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