don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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