I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
