sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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