her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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