Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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