I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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