So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Can I color on your dick again?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
