I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize