At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
