therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
