About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
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