i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
