can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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