i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
