I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
