she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
