haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
