i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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