worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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