he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
