the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
