I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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