Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
