Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize