Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
