That's intense
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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