Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
There r osticjed everywhere
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
