my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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