in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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