i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
