so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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