rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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