Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Randomize
