so that wasnt chicken after all
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize