good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
