Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
