put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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