Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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