i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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