Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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