i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
