I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
