he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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