So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
