just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We have so much sex to catch up on
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Randomize
