I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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