i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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